During this holiday season this whole not having a baby or have adopted yet has kinda hit me pretty hard. I am just so darn ready to have my own child.. I want to shower them with love 24/7 everyday for the rest of my life. We even took the step of putting up a Christmas stocking just for the future little one. But, sadly, we still have a long ways to go before we can even set up our home-study. There is only so much you can do at a time around the holidays. I’ll be honest in the fact that I didn’t want to dip into our personal savings for the fear of something coming up that we wouldn’t have the money for, like for instance, if one of our vehicles break down or whatever of that nature. But in all actuality, I have been holding us back because of that fear. I am the one holding us back from proceeding any further.. I have not fully been putting my trust in God with this journey…..and I feel bad about it. I’m not getting mad at the fact that we don’t have the money to do those last few things before the home-study, because we do, but I’m really just getting mad at MYSELF. So this is me saying sorry to myself. I am ready to go full force into getting everything completed so we can start the home-study. I need to put my trust in God. Next week I will start going down my to-do list! First up is getting my Jeeps oil changed and my spare tire put on the correct rim. Then it will be bringing the pets to get their shots. And the dreaded spare room that is a junk room…..it will be my new sewing room so we can decorate the baby room, as a baby room haha. Until next time!

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